yesterday's goofiness

We took a cruise around in the car yesterday, drove down into the Keys, actually, and had ourselves some sort of funniness going on. I was in rare form, coming up with pun after pun after pun on the billboards and highway signs we saw on the way. Unfortunately, as i am a bear of very little brain, I forgot most of them, ahahaha. However, here is the bizarre images I thought to write down:

A male prostitution ring, with a specialization in B/d, as a front, answers their phones: "B&D Tool Rentals...home of the all you can eat subs."

Peacocks live in Florida. I didn't know that--freaked out when I saw a couple flop out of a tree as we drove past.
I came up with a term for semen--monkeyjelly. It causes stickybelly.
We were driving and I saw a sign stating, "Draw Bridge Ahead", so I got out my little notebook, and when I saw the sign that said "Draw Bridge signal" and the signal was green, I drew a bridge.
I also came up with my new thing--tossing imaginary bulldogs on things. "Bulldog--RAWF!", and then a flinging motion with the right hand.

Sometimes I'm just a plainly silly bastard. We stopped at a roadside stand on the way home, and I got my first sand dollar. I also got some shells for the kids, and a little tiny shark tooth. Lonita, they had a pufferfish in there the size of a basketball, among others--those damn things freaked me out. You could also buy hermit crabs for fifty cents--but I'd rather just figure out what they eat--and then snatch one from a sandbar. EVIL!!! I figure once I get comfortable with that, I can move up to dognapping, and then maybe start a prostitution ring for male subs; call it B&D Tool Rental--Order Now and Get a Free Socket Wrench! After that, I'll string the Cabinet members out on crack and make someone sodomize a nuclear missile.

Saw lots of places selling crabs--none called Itchy's, though. Those Keys people are subtle. Thought about making a band called Rudy Pooh and the Colon Cloggers, with their first album title being Relax. Maybe with a follow-up or a side-project called For Nick Atre--a close personal friend, in case you were wondering who that is. We can have my buddy's band open for us--Rob Wymon & Yell At Children. They've got a new mini-disk they're pushing called Hand It Over. It's pretty heavy stuff.
Anyway, I have to go now--Love yas!

Attention! Anyone who prays, or something like it!

One of my daughters snuck a pair of scissors and butchered her hair. When the missus sees that, i am most likely totally toast. Prayers, helpful spells, or large infusions of cash would be helpful at this point!

Or maybe you could just wake up Godzilla to get my back, okay?